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General Zod's Newsletter
Mon March 15, 2010
It’s a sad, sad day as we have officially sold out of vintage Conan prints. The governor himself was even given one as a present! But alas, these vintage treats wait for no man. At any rate, let this is a lesson to all those that have been procrastinating their purchase… after 30+ years this stuff waits for no man! On a happier note for all the Star Wars fans and Anime dorks http://super7store.com/stormtrooper.html is offering a 24 inch tall Star Wars Shogun Strormtrooper Super Shogun! Yep, coolest toy I’ve seen since the “Taun-taun sleeping bag.” They started their pre-orders already and at $299.99 a pop I’m told that they will sell out within a few weeks never again to be offered again! My recommendation to you is to buy ten of them so you can set up a Shogun Warrior bowling alley in your house! Yeah, that would be awesome! Imagine the chicks… they love that kind of stuff! ROCK OUT AND ROCK ON –GENERAL ZOD
Mon March 1, 2010
Welcome to the new month and enjoy the dozens of new vintage prints that our data dudes have listed. In honor of this fine month filled with leprechauns and green beer I begin this dreary Monday with posting the winner from the “V-day D-Day” disaster contest. Not only does ‘Doug’ get a free tee but he also gets published. Ah, yes Doug, this is your month. If I could send a green beer via USPS Priority boxed airmail to Dallas I would. In the words of Doug: “…so it was the worsest Valentimes Day ever. I have been seeing a girl named Jennifer for about a month now and things were pretty good. I liked her but was still hooking up with a girl from work also named Jennifer. She was nothing just a hook up. So I planned a special date for my girlfriend with all the fix’ns. I was keepin it all mysterious and sexy like. I even left a sweet and sexy voice message on her cell phone to tell her about our special meeting at my house. I had it all planned with a homemade dinner, bottled wine, a rose, candy, and a puppy dog I bought the other day. I like the dog. She’s my buddy. So when my girlfriend don’t show up for ten minutes I leave her a quick message on the machine asking where she was and that I was waiting with her with her special Valentimes Day presents. Oh, I forgot the best part. I was waiting naked wearing only cowboy boots. Truth. So a few minutes later my girlfriend arrives and is so excited to see how much I care, until one minute later Jennifer my hook up from the bar also arrives. I think the last message I made was to the wrong Jennifer. To make a long story short I ate dinner naked by myself and now have a new puppy named, yep, Jennifer. She’s a good ‘ol girl and give me no grief.” Wow Doug, the story’s plot is so remedial that the simplicity is simply striking. One free shirt… or should we send you some pants? ALWAYS REMEMBER TO LAUGH AT OTHERS, -GENERAL ZOD
Mon Feb 15, 2010
Oh dear God, the day of reckoning has finally come and gone. I offer two personal horror stories about Valentine’s Day… on second thought I would rather not cry again… sooooo… a free tee to the best V-Day D-Day horror tale! I want the juice, I want the yucky details, I want it all! Just drop me an email and the best story will receive fame, fortune, and notoriety via General Zod’s newsletter, and I’ll toss in a free shirt to make the pill go down a little easier. Let’s keep it relatively ‘PG’ kids, but try and be more creative than having a date that stands you up… like a 4 year long girlfriend that gives her two week notice in the form of a burnt bundt cake with a post-it on top! Now that stuff gets some points. DRY THOSE SALTY LITTLE TEARS –GENERAL ZOD
Mon Feb 1, 2010
The fact that it is already February just reminds me of how much I love V-Day. I hate the new wallpaper but I certainly do love Valentine’s! It never surprises me how many beautiful desperate woman hang out around the SoCal bar scene on that day in hopes of finding their significant other. A word to the wise people, “You ain’t gonna find love on V-Day… just lovin’!” If a guy buys you a shot on V-Day it’s just because he wants you to return the favor, and believe me he can buy his own shots! So it doesn’t take a brain surgeon to say if you are a “good girl” you should get together your posse of good girls and have a stag dinner and movie night. And ironically this is indubitably when you’ll run randomly into a super nice guy… and then you and your gals can all fight over who gets him! Cat fight! How cool! BE SAFE AND DON’T EAT THAT CANDY! –GENERAL ZOD CARES
Fri Jan 15, 2010
Ok then… in an effort to answer all of the weird emails I keep getting about that little Polaroid picture on the homepage that contains the dolls… ooops! I mean “action figure,” hahaha… the picture was something the art department used after getting hold of a snapshot containing some of Big Boss’s Mego collection. I guess they are hard to find superheroes from the 70’s. I’ve seen some of them and they look kinda cool, but they all look so new that it is hard to believe they are 30 plus years old. At any rate, they are NOT for sale and you can’t have more pictures of them. They don’t belong to me as I do not collect toys, I only collect ex-girlfriends. I just know I would have never expected a playboy like Big Boss to have such a desired toy collection… it is like the 30 year old virgin movie except the Boss is a god… or at least a demi-god… maybe simply half mortal/ half god… now that I think about it he might just be a really cool mortal. If you think his toys are weird, than you should see his real life muscle car collection. Yeah boyeee, now that is more my style! If you are reading this Big Boss please let me drive the RoadRunner, PLEASE… I promise not to park it too close to anything… PLEASE! –PEACE, GENERAL ZOD
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