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General Zod's Newsletter
Wed Dec 25, 2013
It's finally here!  Happy holidays to all.  We here at American Ringer wish each and every one of you a very Merry Christmas and very happy and safe New Year.  This is the best life ever and will be the best 2014 any one of us could ever imagine!  Yeah! –GENERAL ZOD THE GRINCH
 
Tues Dec 24, 2013
Happy holidays! We hope y’all are having a very Merry Christmas and perhaps even an extra day off from work this week. American Ringer is still hooking up all our customers with sweet treats and unique collectibles. Try using some of your upcoming Christmas loot to purchase a rare vintage couture tee that will get you lots of attention. Yes, it’s true… even if you don’t want it you’ll get lots of looks just for wearing one of our tees, especially since you can only get them from us! Now that we have almost made it through Merry Merry, be sure to make Christmas Day a smash... enjoying loved ones and friends alike. And don't forget about making your New Year and alternate plans ASAP. Hiring a limo is probably the best way to go unless you have one of those rare party friends that just happens to be XXX or recently sober… granted they are few and far between but worth their weight in Goldschlager for sure. We’ll be around all week but printing doesn’t begin again until after the New Year. Stay healthy and eat lots. –GENERAL ZOD
 
Wed Dec 18, 2013
Ten more days until Christmas! I can’t believe how quickly this month has passed. I hope everyone has gotten their shopping finished because we’re almost at D-day. Anything ordered this week goes out via USPS Priority airmail before the weekend. That means coast to coast you’ll still have your presents in time for Christmas! Moreover, anything ordered this weekend will ship the following Monday! We’re jamming and working around the clock to make this the best Holiday ever. The little elves are slamming spiked ‘nog and chasing it with Low-Carb Monsters. If you have any questions about sizing or colors just check out the Shirt info and FAQ pages. Or you can drop us an email and we’ll get back to you ASAP. And now for the more important stuff… PLEASE don’t forget to tip, tip, tip this Holiday season. Americans are working their asses off to try and give their families a nice Holiday. If you get a chance to give a few extra bucks to hard working citizens I’m sure the circle will one day come around to you again. Don’t forget that not-so-hot waitress, or the dude who washes your car, or that stoned fellow that always delivers your pizza “on time….” they’ll all need a few extra bucks this Holiday so please be generous. And when you order from us not only do you receive an ALL AMERICAN made product, but we always include a few extra treats for you… “What treats?” Let’s just say that our repeat customers are repeat customers for a reason. Happy Holidays and stay healthy from all of us at American Ringer Clothing Co. –PEACE PEASANTS, GENERAL ZOD
 
Mon Dec 9, 2013
Woah, this month is cruising by faster than my last relationship. I can’t believe we’re into the second week of Christmas Month. The elves are jamming in the sweatshop and working almost around the clock to make sure your orders ship within a few business days. This means that with USPS Priority mail you’re more than likely to get your items within 3-4 shipping days coast to coast and probably only two is you live in either NY or Cali! Now that is some serious under-promise over delivery! I’ll have to make a brief confession and admit to recently seeing the most recent installment of Twilight. The fight scenes are actually super cool but the romantic drag is nut smashing. I fast-forwarded most of the flick after the first ten minutes of crap. I can see where chicks really dig the stuff but you also must realize that any dude who willfully watches and enjoys 100% of those movies is probably in need of a nice American Ringer Princess Leia t-shirt for Christmas. Shop until it hurts, buy American, and tip as many manual laborers as possible this year… we all need it and we all need to do our part. ROCK OUT AND ROCK ON –GENERAL ZOD THE PHILOSOPHIZER
 
Mon Dec 2, 2013
Oh my... it looks like a lot of work for your buddies at American Ringer this week. If we're a little late on shipping don't get terribly upset as we're currently working double shifts to get all your goodies out "almost on time." We were hit like crazy on Black Friday and Cyber Monday and the super cool Big Boss gave everyone a four-day weekend. Needless to say stop emailing me with pics of you wearing crazy turkey costumes... except "Nancy" with that fancy "Pilgrim" outfit! Please send more angles of that costume, as it was very very MOTIVATING! And yes, I'll hook you up with some free schwaaag! Actually we should be totally caught up by this Wednesday. We're super stoked to see that so many unique peeps are interested in American Ringer! FINISH YOUR LEFTOVER TURKEY BEFORE IT GOES BAD! Don't you know that there are starving kids in China! –PEACE, GENERAL ZOD
 
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